What happens when the person everyone depends on needs support too?
There is a particular kind of pressure that comes with being known as “the strong one.”
You know the person.
Maybe it is you.
You are the one people call when things go wrong.
“Can you help me figure this out?”
“What do you think I should do?”
“Please, I need your advice.”
And somehow, you always show up.
You listen. You encourage. You solve problems. You find a way forward.
Even when you are tired.
Even when you are unsure.
Even when, honestly, you could use someone asking, “But how are you really doing?”
That is the part we do not always talk about.
Sometimes, being the strong one can become a burden.
Because when people are used to seeing you handle everything, they may forget that you need support too.
Strength Does Not Mean You Never Struggle
We often have a strange idea of what strength looks like.
We think the strong person is the person who does not break down.
The person who always knows what to do.
The person who never needs help.
But is that really strength?
As Dr. Clement Obadimu reminds us:
“As much as we possess an enormous amount of strength, there are also elements of weakness embedded in us.”
Both can exist at the same time.
You can be strong and still have difficult days.
You can be capable and still feel confused.
You can be a leader and still need guidance.
You can encourage everyone else and still need someone to encourage you.
Your moments of weakness do not cancel out your strength.
They simply remind you that you are human.
The Problem With Always Saying “I’m Fine”
Sometimes, “I’m fine” becomes automatic.
Someone asks how you are doing.
“I’m fine.”
Even when you are exhausted.
“I’m fine.”
Even when you have no idea what your next step should be.
“I’m fine.”
Even when you have been carrying something for so long that you have forgotten what it feels like to put it down.
We get so good at functioning that we sometimes mistake functioning for being okay.
But pushing through everything is not always the answer.
There are questions life will ask you that you may not immediately know how to answer.
There are seasons that will stretch you.
There are decisions you will have to make without having the full picture.
And you know what?
You do not have to figure everything out at once.
You Were Never Meant to Figure Everything Out Alone
There is nothing wrong with being independent.
In fact, being able to take responsibility for your life is important.
But there is a difference between independence and isolation.
You can do things for yourself and still ask for help.
You can make your own decisions and still seek counsel.
You can be ambitious and still need encouragement.
You can be the person giving advice and still need advice yourself.
This is where mentorship becomes important.
Mentorship is not about finding someone who will live your life for you.
It is about gaining access to wisdom, experience and perspective that can help you navigate your own journey better.
Dr. Obadimu describes the passing on of knowledge as the bedrock of effective mentorship, with the ultimate goal of a mentor being to lead their mentee towards success.
Sometimes, what you need is not someone to give you all the answers.
Sometimes, you need someone to ask you the right questions.
Someone who has walked a similar road.
Someone who can say, “Have you considered looking at it this way?”
And suddenly, what seemed impossible begins to look a little different.
Even Leaders Need People
We sometimes put leaders on a pedestal.
We expect them to know.
To decide.
To guide.
To remain composed.
But leadership does not mean having all the answers.
Leadership requires learning.
It requires listening.
It requires humility.
And it requires the courage to admit, “I don’t know.”
There is also something else that matters: action.
Dr. Obadimu reminds us that no knowledge can come to profit without action being taken on it.
So if you know you need help, seek it.
If you know you need guidance, ask for it.
If you have received wisdom, apply it.
If you know something needs to change, take the first step.
Because sometimes, the support we are waiting for becomes useful only when we are willing to act on what we learn.
So, What Are You Carrying?
Maybe this is your reminder to pause.
Not because you are weak.
Not because you are failing.
But because you cannot keep pouring from an empty cup and calling it strength.
Ask yourself:
What have I been carrying that I have not talked about?
Who can I be honest with?
Where do I need guidance?
What am I trying to figure out alone that I could learn with someone else?
Where do I need to give myself some grace?
You do not have to be strong every second.
You do not have to know everything.
And you certainly do not have to navigate every season alone.
A Word from Mentors Tower
We often talk about growth as though it is simply about becoming stronger, better and more capable.
But sometimes, growth looks like something else.
Sometimes, growth is admitting that you need help.
Sometimes, it is allowing yourself to learn from someone who has gone ahead of you.
Sometimes, it is putting down the weight you have been carrying alone and allowing someone else to walk beside you.
You don’t become less strong because you need support.
You become wiser when you recognise when support is necessary.
Because the goal is not to prove that you can carry everything.
The goal is to become the kind of person who knows what to carry, what to learn, when to ask, and who to walk with.
And perhaps that is what real strength looks like.
You don’t have to navigate your growth alone.
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