Why Mentees Don’t Always Apply What You Teach

Lydia spent an hour explaining a simple strategy to her mentee, Vivian. She nodded, took notes, asked smart questions, everything seemed so clear. Lydia was happy to surpass this hurdle with her. But a week later, Vivian was back, nothing changed, nothing done.

If you’ve mentored long enough, you’ve lived this moment.

Research even shows that people remember only about 30% of what they’re told but act consistently on far less, especially when emotions or uncertainty are involved.

The truth is simple:
What you teach isn’t always what they apply and it’s rarely because they’re not listening.

As Dr. Clement reminds us:
“Understanding arrives quickly. Transformation takes time.”

Let’s explore the deeper, everyday reasons mentees struggle to act on what you teach reasons that have nothing to do with stubbornness, and everything to do with being human.

It’s Not Stubbornness, It’s Processing
Picture this:
You guide a mentee through how to deliver a strong presentation. They rehearse confidently with you, nod in understanding, and seem ready. But on the actual day, they freeze.

This isn’t defiance; it’s processing.

Some lessons take time to settle. Growth doesn’t usually appear in the exact moment you teach it. Sometimes the mentee needs space for the lesson to become theirs, not just yours.

It’s like watching a gym tutorial and understanding it perfectly, yet still struggling when you try the routine alone. The mind gets it long before the body catches up.


It’s Often Unclear Communication
You say:
“Improve the structure of your report.”

To you, “structure” means flow and clarity.
To them, it may mean visuals and headings.

Or you say:
“Reach out to more clients this week.”
You meant five.
They assumed twenty.

Many times, mentees are not misbehaving; they’re guessing.

Clarity is not defined by what you say, but by what they hear.
A mentee may be trying their best under the wrong interpretation.


Sometimes It’s Mindset, Not Ability
A mentee may know exactly how to write a proposal; but still can’t bring themselves to send it.

Their challenge isn’t skill.
It’s mindset.

Think of someone who cooks well but avoids hosting because they fear their food won’t be “good enough.” The ability exists, but insecurity blocks action.

Mentees often hold silent beliefs like:
• “I’m not ready.”
• “I’m not as good as they think.”
• “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

Sometimes the mentee doesn’t need new knowledge; they need new confidence.

Sometimes It’s Fear, Not Laziness
Fear often hides behind hesitation, procrastination, or avoidance. A mentee may delay a task not because they’re lazy, but because they’re afraid; afraid of failure, of judgment, or even of success and what it demands.

As Dr. Clement puts it:
“A mentor’s presence should shrink fear, not amplify it.”

Fear disguises itself well, but it is one of the biggest barriers between knowing and doing.

Mentors Must Learn to Read Beyond Words
Mentees often say:
• “I’m fine.”
• “I get it.”
• “I’ll handle it.”
But their tone, silence, or hesitation often tell another story.

Great mentors listen beyond the words.
Because sometimes the real message is:

• “I’m overwhelmed.”
• “I don’t understand, but I don’t want to disappoint you.”
• “I’m struggling, but I don’t know how to explain it.”

What the mentee doesn’t say matters as much as what they do say.


Final Reflection
When a mentee doesn’t apply your teaching, respond with curiosity, not judgment.
There is always a reason and often, a deeply human one.

Mentorship isn’t just instruction.
It is perception.
It is presence.
It is patience.

We teach with information.
We transform with empathy.